Recently a friend told me that to be a great storyteller I needed to know MY story first. Is that true? I'm not sure, but I do know that I decided it was time to gain some clarity on my story and so I'm going to share it with you.
I was born a story teller....oh, and the youngest of seven children. (It was a crazy zoo, but as the youngest I eventually got my own bedroom and in time was able to be an only child in the house...at least for a few years.) Early in my life I gained a fan club at Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, Michigan. I was kind of a big deal there because at 18 months old I stopped breathing and was apparently "technically" dead for a little while. I was originally told 6 minutes, but over the years I heard figures that ranged from 2 minutes to 45. I seem to recall actually hearing a doctor say 6 minutes after he looked at my chart, so that's the number I stick with in my version.
That makes me a miracle...that and the fact that my parents were in their 40's with very little privacy, quite frankly makes my conception and birth outright Ripley's Believe It or Not material. Then, as I said, I had some health problems and during an emergency room visit just outright stopped breathing. (I've had some "unique" experience throughout my life and a psychic once told me it was due to my death experience....I kid you not a woman came running up to me in a restaurant to tell me this news randomly. Somewhat scary since I hadn't even been talking to her when she felt moved to yell this out. Scared my lunch companion, but what the hell.)
I went on to totally amaze the doctors at Beaumont as I made a miraculous recovery years later, and then despite initial predictions that I wouldn't live to be an adult and I certainly would never have a "normal" life, I got a clean bill of health at age 14 and never looked back. Okay, I should probably add that I haven't had a "normal" life, but that's what miracles are all about and I'm fine with that. LOL! I have lived a healthy life and that's what really matters.
My story gets hazy for awhile, however, because though I started out my professional life strong and focused, doubt brought me to my knees and took me way off course. Though I love both of my parents, it took me many years to be able to say the following line: I am the daughter of a man with mental illness, a man who fought off paranoid delusions and his family all paid the price for them. My siblings paid a higher price than me, since I was the youngest and was able to be sheltered by them, but it ultimately drove a wedge between us all.
I'm not complaining. It made me who I am and I'm really proud of myself. However, I honestly cannot remember a time when I was a kid that a trip to the local Kmart wasn't a traumatic thing. You see, my father believed that someone from his early adulthood was after him and, in fact, Dad thought this guy had a poisonous spray that he used on our family. So, my father always made at least one of my brothers stand watch at the car and if while we were shopping, my father felt like he was being sprayed, we had to drop everything and run out to the car and leave. I remember once picking out a pink Easter dress that had to be dropped so we could run and when we returned it was nowhere to be seen.
But, nonetheless, I made it. My siblings made it as well. We all survived and went on to lead pretty good lives and all of us are fairly sane....knock on wood. LOL! But one profound effect it had on me was that I was very big into playing it safe and not drawing attention to myself. My career has had many stellar high points, but until recently, I was always fairly eager to get out of the spotlight and thus turn down a promotion, give someone else the chance to lead a project, etc. I worked as an English teacher much of my life all the while writing. A few years ago my daughters asked why I didn't do anything with my writing and initially I replied that it was due to not having Hollywood contacts. I said, "The deck is stacked against people like me." Then it hit me. That was my father's favorite line...it was his WHY when people suggested he get a better job so that he could support his family, it was his go-to for how he and my mom ended up in a bad neighborhood with little to show for it all.
So here's the thing: I have come to realize that the deck is stacked the way you stack it. Yes, there are some things out of our control, but we always have control over our mindset and how we approach the world. My father had an illness, which was out of his control, but the option to take meds or ignore them were his. So were other things like his decision not to allow other people to help our family.
I am a miracle. I survived my father. I survived a heart valve problem. The heart problem was supposedly a death sentence. Yet here I sit with a Ph.D., two children, and a very full career. I don't define myself by my early illness or my father anymore. Nor do I define myself by fears and the belief that things are stacked against me. The rough times only made me realize and appreciate the incredible nature of my life. I'm not saying I don't sometimes slip or struggle, but now when I do I see the light on the path ahead. I keep moving.
My current plan is to take my writing to a new level. New clients who are ready to go great places, new plans for my creative writing projects, and a new outlook. Rather than self-publish my second novel, I'm going to find a traditional publisher and get on the NY Times best seller's list Next, I have 13 children's books that I've read at the local schools for years, but never really did anything with and I'm getting them out there as well. And finally, I have multiple sitcom and movie scripts. It's time for them to see the light of day. (Want to be a part of the movie making process? www.threesocksmedia.com)
If you're reading this blog, it means you're a part of this whole process and I thank you. The deck is not stacked against us, but we do have an adventure ahead of us. Are you ready?
I was born a story teller....oh, and the youngest of seven children. (It was a crazy zoo, but as the youngest I eventually got my own bedroom and in time was able to be an only child in the house...at least for a few years.) Early in my life I gained a fan club at Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, Michigan. I was kind of a big deal there because at 18 months old I stopped breathing and was apparently "technically" dead for a little while. I was originally told 6 minutes, but over the years I heard figures that ranged from 2 minutes to 45. I seem to recall actually hearing a doctor say 6 minutes after he looked at my chart, so that's the number I stick with in my version.
That makes me a miracle...that and the fact that my parents were in their 40's with very little privacy, quite frankly makes my conception and birth outright Ripley's Believe It or Not material. Then, as I said, I had some health problems and during an emergency room visit just outright stopped breathing. (I've had some "unique" experience throughout my life and a psychic once told me it was due to my death experience....I kid you not a woman came running up to me in a restaurant to tell me this news randomly. Somewhat scary since I hadn't even been talking to her when she felt moved to yell this out. Scared my lunch companion, but what the hell.)
I went on to totally amaze the doctors at Beaumont as I made a miraculous recovery years later, and then despite initial predictions that I wouldn't live to be an adult and I certainly would never have a "normal" life, I got a clean bill of health at age 14 and never looked back. Okay, I should probably add that I haven't had a "normal" life, but that's what miracles are all about and I'm fine with that. LOL! I have lived a healthy life and that's what really matters.
My story gets hazy for awhile, however, because though I started out my professional life strong and focused, doubt brought me to my knees and took me way off course. Though I love both of my parents, it took me many years to be able to say the following line: I am the daughter of a man with mental illness, a man who fought off paranoid delusions and his family all paid the price for them. My siblings paid a higher price than me, since I was the youngest and was able to be sheltered by them, but it ultimately drove a wedge between us all.
I'm not complaining. It made me who I am and I'm really proud of myself. However, I honestly cannot remember a time when I was a kid that a trip to the local Kmart wasn't a traumatic thing. You see, my father believed that someone from his early adulthood was after him and, in fact, Dad thought this guy had a poisonous spray that he used on our family. So, my father always made at least one of my brothers stand watch at the car and if while we were shopping, my father felt like he was being sprayed, we had to drop everything and run out to the car and leave. I remember once picking out a pink Easter dress that had to be dropped so we could run and when we returned it was nowhere to be seen.
But, nonetheless, I made it. My siblings made it as well. We all survived and went on to lead pretty good lives and all of us are fairly sane....knock on wood. LOL! But one profound effect it had on me was that I was very big into playing it safe and not drawing attention to myself. My career has had many stellar high points, but until recently, I was always fairly eager to get out of the spotlight and thus turn down a promotion, give someone else the chance to lead a project, etc. I worked as an English teacher much of my life all the while writing. A few years ago my daughters asked why I didn't do anything with my writing and initially I replied that it was due to not having Hollywood contacts. I said, "The deck is stacked against people like me." Then it hit me. That was my father's favorite line...it was his WHY when people suggested he get a better job so that he could support his family, it was his go-to for how he and my mom ended up in a bad neighborhood with little to show for it all.
So here's the thing: I have come to realize that the deck is stacked the way you stack it. Yes, there are some things out of our control, but we always have control over our mindset and how we approach the world. My father had an illness, which was out of his control, but the option to take meds or ignore them were his. So were other things like his decision not to allow other people to help our family.
I am a miracle. I survived my father. I survived a heart valve problem. The heart problem was supposedly a death sentence. Yet here I sit with a Ph.D., two children, and a very full career. I don't define myself by my early illness or my father anymore. Nor do I define myself by fears and the belief that things are stacked against me. The rough times only made me realize and appreciate the incredible nature of my life. I'm not saying I don't sometimes slip or struggle, but now when I do I see the light on the path ahead. I keep moving.
My current plan is to take my writing to a new level. New clients who are ready to go great places, new plans for my creative writing projects, and a new outlook. Rather than self-publish my second novel, I'm going to find a traditional publisher and get on the NY Times best seller's list Next, I have 13 children's books that I've read at the local schools for years, but never really did anything with and I'm getting them out there as well. And finally, I have multiple sitcom and movie scripts. It's time for them to see the light of day. (Want to be a part of the movie making process? www.threesocksmedia.com)
If you're reading this blog, it means you're a part of this whole process and I thank you. The deck is not stacked against us, but we do have an adventure ahead of us. Are you ready?
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